I work the beat/ My job: keep the peace on the street/
Blond crew cut six two/ Two thirty physique/
Job’s dirty indeed/ That’s why I carry a nightstick to keep it clean/
Plus a thirty-eight special that loads six/
I wear a neat pressed clean navy blue uniform/
Plus a badge that’s proof I’m never doing any harm/
You might see me on your block/ Or in the local doughnut shop/
I’m an officer of the peace/ But you punks call me a cop/
I never get the respect I deserve/ You call us pigs/
While you congratulate each other after doin’ a bid/
Since I was a kid/ I’ve wanted to rid the neighborhood of crime/
And I don’t care if you’re Black/ Latin/ Asian/ Or White/
I’m not racist/ That’s just one of the news’s excuses/
It’s not my fault most Black kids are too stupid to stay in school/
And their welfare junkie parents aren’t involved/
So when I bust ‘em for shoplifting I’m just doin’ my job.

(DJ scratches in “I’m just doin my job”)

These kids are bad/ Nowadays they grow up too fast/
Either pregnant or selling drugs/ Don’t wanna come to class/
Too much sass/ In my day I wouldn’t tolerate it/
But nowadays we can’t pray or make use of switches/
And lord knows they could use some of both/
Plus some manners/ What do parents do with these kids at home/
They’re left alone/ That’s why test scores are so low in the state/
And they’ve got some nerve blaming it on discrimination in race/
Drugs and violence because of the environment/ I’m not buying it/
That’s like saying the climate has to do with math and sciences/
Their English is a mess because of that ebonics nonsense/
They don’t listen to me/ They listen to rap/ They steal/ They’re dishonest/
They frighten me/ When I scold they threaten to get even/
I can’t control them/ How do you expect me to teach them?/
Can’t hold them all back/ School would be an overcrowded mob/
So when I pass another illiterate I’m just doing my job.

(DJ scratches in “I’m just doin my job”)

I’ve been your boss for six years/ Worked with you for thirteen/
We’ve got the same skills/ Same experience/ And the same degree/
Hired on the same day/ You were chosen because of affirmative action/
But I never held that against you/ Invited you on a trip to Aspen/
You declined/ Said you couldn’t afford it to be polite/
It’s alright/ I know you didn’t wanna hang out with me and the wife/
It’s a shame yours left you after you took that second job/
And that time you got robbed and had to move in with your mom/
Maybe you should move to a better neighborhood/
Stop trying to save the ghetto/ Some goals are unattainable/
That stack of papers piling up on your desk should be your focus/
Ahh, you’re hopeless/ That’s why you never got a promotion/
You work hard/ You’re smart/ But there’s a problem with your attitude/
It’s distracting/ Not the black thing/ It’s not like I’m after you/
Now I know we’ve got history/ But it’s lonely at the top/
I have to let you go/ I’m just doing my job.